According to our new leader, there will be Army cadet units in schools which will give “the skills and confidence [pupils] need to thrive” – note the new definition of “thrive” here: it means to kill other people. This definition will not appear in the Oxford English Dictionary immediately, but it will be applied in schools as soon as possible. There may be some retraining available to Church of England theology students and vicars, rewriting the Sermon  on the Mount so that it teaches what we always knew it did: kill your neighbour. That’s what bishops have always taught anyway, so it’s just bringing the biblical text into line with practice. Got to be modern after all, haven’t we?

Jeremy Corbyn, meanwhile, has been mocked for being against war. Well, what does he know? He’s not a Christian. And he lives in the 1980s. Get real, Jeremy. Live in the first century, when Jesus told his followers that their enemies would be plunged into the fire that would never be quenched. Hell. Sounds like Trident to me. Go for it.