I have sent the following plea to Andy Burnham in response to the latest email he sent out in his attempt to become the next leader of the Labour Party:

“Andy,

I have registered to vote in the Labour leadership elections. I am not a member of any other party and my values are, as far as I can see, Labour ones. In your latest email, you say (in an apparent swipe at Jeremy Corbyn), “We’re … at grave risk of returning to the in-fighting of the early 80s”. I’m sorry to have to say it, Andy, but if anyone is engaging in “in-fighting” it’s you, Liz Kendall and Yvette Cooper. Jeremy Corbyn’s behaviour is as far from that as it could possibly be. He has gained enormous support and enthusiasm by talking about his policies (that seems to be what you mean by “in-fighting”), and his meetings get larger. The irony is, of course, that the more popular – and surely, therefore, electable – he becomes, the more you all claim he’s unelectable. Can you stop doing this please? It’s doing my head in.

Yours,

Bob Mouncer”

It will come as no surprise, dear reader, when I tell you that, within seconds of receiving my how-to-vote instructions from the Labour Party, I cast my vote for Jeremy. Please do it if you can. While you’re thinking about it. Like, now.